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I grew up in a non-Christian home in a small town located in Canada, which meant there were not a lot of churches to choose from: Catholic, Nazarene, Lutheran, and United Church of Canada. I lived beside the United Church, so all I had to do was cross my lawn and I was there. Thus, the first church I stepped into was the United Church of Canada; I was baptized as a baby there. Since, I had family problems, I sought this church out as an escape. As I continued going to the services alone, I realized that there were not a lot of young people that attended the services. However, I was able to socialize well with the people. I became involved with the junior choir, and then moved up to the senior choir. I participated in plays and such that the church held for the public. Though I was pretty involved, I felt that there was something missing. I didn't like the songs I sang diligently, nor could I relate to the sermons given. In short, I found the services to be very blah. Eventually, I met up with a pastor from the Church of the Nazarene, which was located only a block away from me. We became good friends, and I started attending their services. This church I found the crowd much younger, and there were actually people there my age. I enjoyed the music, the sermons, and the people. The service was in the same format as the United Church, but I found I could relate better with the sermons and the people. Thus, the Church of the Nazarene became my new church. When I turned 16, something happened that changed my life forever. My father, the only family member that I became close to, died suddenly from a heart attack. The funeral service took place in the United Church. However, I do not recall much of my church experience after that time since I probably was in shock, and it's all a blur in my mind. A year later, my grade 12 year, we moved to another town. Now, I was already attending the high school in this town since my hometown had lost its high school. At this time, I met up with some friends from the local Baptist Church. So, I started to attend their youth group and their services. Let me add a quick note in case you are wondering, I was attending these services alone and met up with my friends at the services. There, I met a youth pastor, who is now a very good friend of mine. He and I seemed to connect very quickly. I found him very easy to converse with, and soon found that I could talk to him about anything. I guess you could say that he became my spiritual advisor. I found the Baptist service more upbeat, and found the people fairly friendly. I became involved with the worship team, and actually sang a few solos here and there throughout the year. I graduated from high school, and moved away to a city to attend college. Now, here is the time when I saw some major flaws with the church. It had nothing to do with their theology, since I didn't know their theology. |
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There's this Bible College that most students from the church attend when they graduate from high school. This particular Baptist Church supports this college. I wasn't interested in attending because I felt they had nothing to offer me, and I didn't see the point is spending huge amounts of money to go for only one year (it's very expensive). Instead, I went to a technical college.
I found, in short, that the church did not approve of me going to a technical college instead of the Bible College. When I came home for a visit and went to the church for service, I found that the attitude towards me completely changed. I also was living with my boyfriend at the time, thus I was frowned upon. I found that no one really cared about how school was going for me, or how I found living on my own. My friends who were attending the Bible College were in the center of attention of everyone, but I was left out in the cold. No longer was I deemed worthy enough to be part of the church. In case you are wondering, I was, and still am, best friends with the youth pastor.
After experiencing the cold shoulder from my own church, I quit going to church all together. I was very hurt by this experience and figured that all churches would probably disapprove of me attending a technical college and living with my boyfriend.
Years went by, and I soon found that there was something missing in my life. I moved to another city in another province. I decided to try to attend church again and went to a Baptist Church not too far from where I lived. I enjoyed the music and sermons and such, but I found that the fellowship just wasn't there for me. There were some things that I found too radical. For one, this particular Baptist Church ruled out Halloween and saw it as a sin to dress up your children and go door to door to get candy. I for one, find Halloween a cool holiday, thus I thought condemning Halloween was a bit too much. Once again, I was without a church.
I met up with someone from my work that attended a "non-denominational" church. I decided to give it a shot. I went to a few services and fell in love with it. The music was great, and the pastor gave awesome sermons. They offered a couple of classes that I attended that were titled: 7 Principles to Bible Study and Redemption. I learned a heck of a lot from those classes, and for once, I actually felt that perhaps this was my church.
However, something changed all that. For one, I started to feel that something truly was missing. I didn't feel whole. I was going to church and singing praises and learning, but I still didn't feel whole. I soon discovered that there were some major issues that happened in my childhood that I had not yet dealt with: physical abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse. My perspective on the Christian life changed dramatically. I soon found that even though you are a Christian, you aren't happy all of the time, though most churches portray that there's something wrong with you if you aren't happy all of the time.
This is what I found with this church. I found that everyone was so happy and gung-ho all the time, and I was in a depressive state. I felt that there was something wrong with me because I wasn't feeling the same as everyone else. Besides that, this church was a big church with lots of members. I wanted to be able to talk to the pastor about some things that concerned me, but I found that would be impossible. I soon found myself lost within the big crowd. So, I stopped going to this church and found myself once again, on the search for a church I was looking for.
What is the church I am looking for? One, I am seeking a church who accepts you for who you are, no matter what mood you are in. Two, I want a small church so you can have fellowship with other members very easily. Finally, I yearn for a church where you can have a personal relationship with the pastor.
I knew of this person that I met through a Christian chat room three years ago, who is a very good friend of mine, who is an Orthodox Christian. We are very close friends, and he knew of the trials that I am going through and what kind of church I am looking for. He explained to me the basics of Orthodox Church belief, and what the services entail. I was very intrigued, since for once, I knew exactly what beliefs a church had. Up to this point, I never had received a true, in-depth look at what the church believes.
I got brave enough and called up the priest for this Greek Orthodox Church, which holds services in English (thank goodness). We set up something so I could get a ride to the service since the church is very far from where I live.
My first reaction when I stepped into the church was: WOW. There were pictures of saints, and candles lit. I can't really describe it all because I was in awe of the whole thing. This was completely new to me. The other thing that really got me was the peace I felt when I entered the church. People were singing, but it wasn't like the music that was played in the churches that I had attended to previously. It was all opera, a cappella singing. That is what I found peaceful. I was more used to the drums and keyboards, with microphones, music. This was the complete opposite of what I was used to.
As the service went on, my mind raced with questions like, what does this mean, why is the priest doing that, etc. There were so many different things that took place that I have never seen before. A scripture was sung instead of read. Also, for the first time, I was introduced into liturgy. Up until then, I never knew what liturgy was.
Of course, I was lost throughout the whole thing since this was all new to me, but it didn't bother me like I thought it would. I listened, and found that I could worship just as well listening to the others sing and take in the words than to participate. Unlike the other churches I attended, I felt that you had to participate in order to be worshipping. This is not the case in Orthodoxy.
Another thing that struck me as different was that the sermon was very short, unlike the sermons I have heard throughout my life. The sermon, I found took only about 10-15 minutes, unlike the 30+ minute sermons I was used to. My only complaint on this is that this doesn't give you enough time to catch up on your sleep. The sermon was short and to the point, which I like. These sermons I could relate to, and I didn't have to sit for 30 minutes and listen to someone blab on.
What really struck me as odd was that they had communion. Now, growing up in "Protestant" churches, we only held communion one Sunday a month. The Orthodox hold communion every Sunday. This was completely new to me, and again I was struck with interest. Why would they hold communion every Sunday, and not one Sunday a month like the churches I used to attend? I found that the Orthodox hold the sacrament of communion in very high regards. They see it as a very special way to get closer to Christ. At least, that's what I think, and if there are any Orthodox Christians reading this and are yelling at the screen: "She's wrong!" let me know. Anyway, I never saw communion as important as the Orthodox do.
So, after the service, I found myself liking the Orthodox concept. Beside it being different, I found it very peaceful and very meaningful. I never found singing for a few minutes and then listening to a sermon for a half an hour very meaningful. Going to an Orthodox Church has definitely changed my views on worship, and I think it has changed my faith for the better.
Thus, here ends my article. I have gone from United, to Nazarene, to Baptist and now to Orthodoxy. I think I have made the full circle. I hope you enjoyed the article!